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Throughout the journey, Matie and Jamie would have a variety of tearful conversations about trans inclusion with some older passengers who refused to just accept trans girls as their fellow sisters. But in addition they received many ladies to rethink their more middle-of-the-road views on trans inclusion. “Those are the individuals who matter,” Jamie would later tell me, recalling her latest conversions over espresso in the cafeteria. Not only are those stereotypes offensive and boring, but they’re ahistorical. Queer progress isn’t linear, and plenty of the anti-trans feminists who scream at me every time I say anything trans-positive on Twitter are my age or youthful. Meanwhile, lesbian activist teams just like the Lesbian Avengers have been pro-trans for decades.

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Except, two weeks after she’d informed her husband, I discovered that that he hadn’t moved out and neither had she. She texted me to say that she might not keep on seeing me. She informed me over WhatsApp that it was too overwhelming for her to tell people, to be trustworthy about who she was, and ultimately who I still am. She felt too bludgeoned by people’s expectations of her, too stifled by her disgrace, and informed me that I should stay out my youth while it’s nonetheless mine. To know that I might finally come clear to my worrisome pals felt liberating past belief.

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